Beginnings and Endings

Both fear and joy can be associated with endings, and that is normal! The same can be said for beginnings. Often, at this stage of my life, I fear endings. So much seems out of my control. Maybe it has always been that way – and I never stopped to worry. Risk, which had mostly been a welcome friend, has me a little out of kilter these days. I have taken risks to help myself and often to help others. I stand for what I believe in. I have integrity and courage. Yet, when times get tough and the endings come, I have often felt like I was standing alone. True or not, when I doubt my own value I rarely appreciate all that is right in front of me. I am sure of the end, but not the beginning. Finished, but not there yet!

Beginnings can rise slowly and sometimes we don’t even realize they are happening. Unsure of whether I am at the beginning or end, I want to pay attention to the invitations that may be right in front of me; The emerging sun, the blooming flower, a remote opportunity, or the growing child could be lost in entanglement of uncertainty. Out of the spotlight of beginnings and endings, I find friendships and family - unending gifts from my life, not to be ignored or taken for granted. Tugged at by the call to make meaning I push and pull to create my own beginnings and endings. Breath in, breath out…. Let it go! Pay attention – endings are beginning and beginnings are endings.

I think instead of worrying about those beginning and endings, today I will live in the in the space between! Holding the joy of living and honoring each moment.