I Have an Inner Guide that Leads Me

“I have an inner guide that leads me..” Jacob Needleman

I wonder, as I sit here at this desk, the birds chirping, sitting in the trees with new buds ready to awaken the coming season.

I think of the weariness I feel that rests in my physical body; the pinches and aches, and also the strength that lets me walk the path, the nimbleness in my fingers that allow me to write and type these words effortlessly - connected by my heart and mind.

I find myself tripping on the path, tripping over my words. Is it the slow settling into age - the over used muscles and bones, the well worn path between my head and my heart that caused these blusters and blunders? Or is it the swell of years of worry? Or is it just a sign to slow down?

And what can keep me here, in the state of calm and peace?

My inner guide?

My self-determination?

My learning to make peace with my own demons?

I keep pushing back the long list of ‘to do’s” from my thoughts.

I see a glass of water in my peripheral vision, an orange, the salt and pepper shakers, the collandar that holds red apples.

I feel the ache in my fingers and hand and my right shoulder muscles.

I am bearing down hard

On the pencil

This paper

Sitting back and whispering in my own ear

Quiet

Hush

Stay right here

Let go of the list

Soften your grip

On the pencil

And the world.

Amen