I was thinking about school and schools when once again, the unthinkable, another mass shooting happened. Sadness shifted to anger, back to sadness and to wonder.
"Only for a few brief moments… " a line from Music at Night, an essay, by Aldous Huxley, in his Biography by Sybille Bedford, and I paused. Only for a few brief moments! I think about the ordinariness – the moments we wait for, dream about. The ones we create in our heads. I am not sure, at this moment, that waiting is the right thing to do. I think of the temporariness of it all; the sadness, the joy, the stale afternoon haze. The car crash, the shootings, a trip and fall. Get up, get moving, stop. Look around. Living in fear is not the answer either, really!
The ability stop, to see the beauty and wonder in the ordinary, holding the moments we are given like treasures. Sometimes hurrying to the next thing, or the thing I believe will be the moment, is a waste of the present. Really, all the longing for ‘that moment’, in its haste, I may miss the magical moment of the here and now. I think of school, our school, what we are teaching in schools, all the time?
In this present moment I am painfully aware of all the tension I hold as I watch the light play with the leaves – the shadow dancing on the table and at the edges of this page. The constant ticking in my head, and I stop and listen to the birds and the breeze and the chimes. The noise in my head sometimes no match for reason or what I know to be true. What are we teaching children in our words and actions - moving so fast toward what?
The leaves are still dancing across my page in the sparkling morning light and soft breeze, light on my face, calls me home, to myself - to the larger spirit of life. The coffee, the words and the unspoken truth. We all have a chance to shine our light with small acts of kindness each day. It is enough! The light is everywhere – I wonder where will mine shine today?