Opposite, Paradox, And a Third Way
This is such a busy time of year. Testing,
scheduling for next year, celebrations, field days, field trips. Carnivals and
graduation, moving up and moving out.
And family, and all the activities, that keep us
alive, brings me to the idea of paradox. The dance of both/and, rather
than either/or.
When I first started the work of Courage and Renewal the concept of paradox was confusing to me. I couldn’t imaging something was not just right or wrong, either/or.
I never imagined there could be a third way - something in between. I still ponder the concept and often have to step back to consider an opposing viewpoint or something that just doesn’t add up or make sense to me.
When I first started the work of Courage and Renewal the concept of paradox was confusing to me. I couldn’t imaging something was not just right or wrong, either/or.
I never imagined there could be a third way - something in between. I still ponder the concept and often have to step back to consider an opposing viewpoint or something that just doesn’t add up or make sense to me.
The touchstones/boundary markers
of Circles of Trust have become like a close friend, helping me when I want to judge, or talk over, or not listen. The touchstones take me deeper - instead of reacting, I turn to wonder. I try to respond with Open, Honest
Questions. I try to listen to my colleagues as I struggle to not fix or save or correct or advise.
There are times when my patience is tested. I am stressed by the moment, the ‘meanness in the street’, social media or the television. That is when I do my best look inward, discerning what makes me angry, or sad, or afraid. Only then can I imagine another way, an and. Knowing that it is possible to live the question, rather than have the answer. I can spare the other my fury as I slow down and ponder a third way.
There are times when my patience is tested. I am stressed by the moment, the ‘meanness in the street’, social media or the television. That is when I do my best look inward, discerning what makes me angry, or sad, or afraid. Only then can I imagine another way, an and. Knowing that it is possible to live the question, rather than have the answer. I can spare the other my fury as I slow down and ponder a third way.
I am not always sure how - but more and more I
am able to find ways to extend and receive welcome – to ideas and others I could
not have thought possible. I am blessed by paradox - and struggle with paradox. And somehow I find my way to a kinder and gentler place. And I surprise myself - as I speak my truth while honoring the other.
It is not always easy, and I am not always
generous and giving. Yet, the world is a better place when I can offer my
kindness. One person at a time. One interaction. One moment at a time.
This is how I teach now. As I breathe I
calm the stormy waters and turn in – before I go out. I consider others and the 'other'. I have come a long way. As I have begun to understand paradox, it has been a gift that helps me to be calm - when my furry is greater that my gifts.
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